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Posts Tagged ‘kiddos’

A long day and a nice meal

Hello constant reader. It’s been a long day so I’m going to go concrete. I baked the New Year’s ham a day late and with a bit of a rush job. I was pinched for time on New Year day so sliced off some steaks and pan fried them to speed along dinner.

I had a honey glazed ham which was half the price per pound as ham hocks. The invisible hand is pretty funny sometimes. I did the package directions but had already eaten most of the slices so it wasn’t as sugary which is a good thing. A little goes a long way.

I note the glaze is sugar, brown sugar, and dried honey so I’ll use the rest next time we run out of sugar at least.

For a side I took some pinto beans I’d made for chili and mashed them up with a red pepper and a sweet onion with cumin, ranch seasoning, crushed red pepper, a few drips ghost pepper sauce and after I added the beans I added a pack of taco sauce. I mashed them some and they were pretty good.

I had made cranberry salad yesterday out of a can of the jelled and some smashed blackberries and was pleased the 15 y/o smashed them who always mocks canned cranberries.

I finished it with a simple salad of mixed greens and yellow pepper. For a dressing I did a red wine vinaigrette with red wine, a nice olive oil, apple cider vinegar, apple butter, a shit ton of basil and cilantro, white pepper, and garlic powder. It was excellent.

Mostly though it felt good to be loved and all of us are still giddy about the wonderful new home. Shae said it’s like being in love again where you have to stop and just be in awe about how great life is.

To work hard and come home to someone who loves you and is excited to show you what she arranged during her kick back time it’s pretty special.

Notes on trauma, inclusion, & Children’s Protection Services

I am attending the Crime Victims Rights Conference in Wichita. It has gone paperless and I left my notebook in the car so I am preparing a blog post as a vehicle for notes. Lots of stuff on trauma, I hope they get beyond the basics. They didn’t but a few gems amongst a lot of very basic programming. Glad it’s over. Don’t recommend.

The four R’s of Trauma: Realize, Recognize, Respond & Resisting Revictimization. Trauma Informed shifts from what’s wrong with you to what has happened to you.

Defensiveness and resistance can be signs that we are ready for growth.

Gossiping is a form of numbing, points to need to have better outlets for trauma. Proactively address healthy conflict resolution and look at workplace gossip through a trauma lense.

The success of an intervention depends on the interior condition of the intervenor. Autonomy and freedom are more important than safety. Accountability is support. It needs to be encouraged and rewarded.

Cultural competence is better termed cultural relevance or cultural humility. Diversity, Equity, inclusion & Belonging. They are progressive steps. Individuals are not diverse. As a group we are diverse.

We have to look at who we serve and who we are not serving. Who is in our community? Who is already serving that community? Who are served, inadequately served, not served? How are people’s identities influencing their experiences and outcomes?

Belonging is when folks with a marginalized identity can bring organizational authority and be themselves. For a team member we can push back on systems and ensure a safer place to land.

I will add to job ad: Members of marginalized communities are strongly encouraged to apply. A false sense of urgency is a white dominant value move to flexibility and realistic work plans.

Are you a mandated reporter should be an interview question. 51.5% of reports are screened. 76% neglect, 16% child abuse, 10% sexual abuse. 82.9% of prenatal substance exposure were screened in. 18% of reports are substantiated, 13% receive an alternative response. Law enforcement, educational personnel and medical personnel are top reporters.

Black folks are screened in at twice the average of whites. Children with disabilities screen in four times higher. There is an overutilization of child welfare system. Most situations can be resolved without child protection intervention. Mandated reporting does not lessen child maltreatment rates nor does it reduce future rates.

Poverty is not neglect. The indicators look the same. Thinking of neglect “when reasonably able to do so”. “Reason to believe” is in most statutes and creates a subjective standard allowing reporters to think critically.

Protecting children is everyone’s responsibility. Child Protection is a government agency that does not address the situation very well. Making a call and then not thinking about what happens is not good ethical practice.

We were unable to find any high-quality research studies suggesting that mandatory reporting and associated interventions do more good than harm. Supporting caregiver/child relationship is the biggest factor in ameliorating Adverse Childhood Events.

Studies of risk assessment of children being left alone showed it was based on moral approval or disapproval of where the mother was. 50% of black mothers will have a CPS report before their child is 18.

Trauma Bond: captivity brings long contact with coercive control. Goal is the fear of death and gratitude to be allowed to live. Attachment is the rule not the exception.

7 stages of trauma bonding in relationships: Lovebombing, Gaining Trust, Shift to criticism and devaluation, Gaslighting, Resignation and submission, Loss of sense of self & emotional addiction. , If

“i am mostly water, 70 percent, don’t worry about the rent”

Listening to an alt country mix John made for me a long time ago. Great stuff, late 90s. Feeling grateful and content. Last week was a veritable whirlwind and until now I have subscribed to a drama free lifestyle for a long time. But not always and even as I’ve gone about a more ordinary existence I have known a penchant for action lays. Certainly won’t have to worry about boredom anytime soon as it looks.

Fido has been sleeping all day getting up only to follow me to whatever room I’m in and crashing. After better then a week of Olive 24/7 I think he just wants rest. We did walk down to the park and he played a bit with a 6 month old Blue Sheltie. I don’t think I’d ever seen one that cute. She got Fido to chase her but she was slow and they didn’t figure out how to play anything else so we walked the trail home.

I was tired today, slept poorly and slept in for me. I lay down for a nap but didn’t go down and ended up just reading a Spider Man comic. The 70s stuff has a strong since of nostalgia for me. “Peter Parker The Spectacular Spider Man” I remember well from when I was a boy. Tarantula is the villain and I remember drawing him, even the foreshortened right leg and having to imagine the toe spike that’s imbedded in the wall. He was like if Spider Man and Zorro had a kid being Hispanic and the half mask. Some of the stuffs pretty solid but there’s a cheese factor. My next one features the “Death Dance of the Hypno Hustler!”

I forgot this song is on the CD, awesome. Whenever I hear myself its unsettling and hard not to listen to myself and yet its not entirely pleasant (and not just because  I’m such a bad singer).

Jeff and Becky and their kiddos came over for dinner. I was hoping Fido would get over his weirded out by kids thing if he had some sustained time with kids but no such luck. I had made minestrone soup yesterday. As a a base I used all my canned tomatoes (pretty much done with canned food all things being equal, I’ll pass on the skyrocketing BPA levels thank you very much).

While I got that going I took 2 local pasture raised cube steaks, floured them in whole wheat flour and browned in the cast iron skillet. Chopped them into little pieces and all the drippings and even the saucer of flour figuring it would thicken. I would later regret that move because I was going to someone who was gluten frees house for a potluck I thought but it was a chile supper and I was late so it didn’t matter anyway. Had a gluten free beer speaking of nostalgia. (Long term readers will remember I lost my papa and gluten free this and that was a frequent blog topic for awhile.)

Oh yeah, I fried the cube steaks in bacon grease, its not much meat for a giant pot of soup and the extra flavor didn’t hurt. I then added the giant kolrabi (well half of it, going to use it for chickpea potato salad with some russets for the work potluck), a couple of Michigan carrots, 3 Michigan red onions, a green pepper, half a bottle of homemade cherry wine (my sainted Mama taught me to add a little sweet to take the bite out of tomatoes), 1/2 cup chopped fresh parsley, some spinach, and purple cabbage. Whoop fresh green beans snapped real short, the black eyed peas I’d made at New Years, and a sizable amount of dried basil from the garden and Turkish oregano. At the end I added most of a can of black olives I had from Thanksgiving and some whole wheat spiral pasta.

It was yummy, pretty healthy too, and had a minestrone taste to it. Ended up adding a tsp of Better then Bullion too. Jeff and Becky are traveling and to hang out a few hours in the afternoon I thought soup and salad would be nice. I did an all local salad with market lettuce, spinach, purple cabbage, shredded carrot, heart nuts (a cross of Black and English walnuts) from the Michigan market, and Michigan apples.

I made a homemade dressing as well. I added apple cider vinegar to the last of the tahini in its own jar and some Michigan honey (boy you know local honey is cool but the honey that’s like the honey that I grew up on is just more honeyer to me), a little turmeric, a lot of freshly ground mustard (the kids enjoyed the mortar and pestle), maybe something else, I was gabbing with the guests.

Jeff brought a loaf of wheat/rye bread he’d made in the woods in a clay oven. He’s a history buff and reenactor who has a big 19th century or so camp out in Missouri every year at this time and we hang out for a bit before or after. Jeff hosted me on my first visit to Columbia and showed me the town I fell in love with. Its funny in the campaign I say “I love Columbia” and people always say “How long have you been here?”, its funny. He made it old school stretching the yeast, using only a packet for 14 pounds of flour like they would have in the olden days and stuff was expensive. They bought yeast from brewers who grew it.

Early in that paragraph I hopped over to Facebook and told a friend one of my favorite stories about my dad when she had mentioned David Bowie, here it is [One time a long time ago Dad called from the road and asked my mom to speak to me. He said, “Have you ever heard of David Bowie?” “Um, yeah Dad I’ve heard of him why.” “Well I went to get fuel last night about 3:00 in the morning and all the fuel pumps were blocked by these tour buses, so I went inside and I said ‘Hey whose buses are blocking the fuel pumps?’ and this anemic little fuck came up and said ‘They’re my buses I’m David Bowie'” Dad went on “So I said are you any relation to Jim Bowie? He had a knife that could cut his hair, you could use a knife like that.” This was 80s Bowie so his hair wasn’t that long but Dad was sensitive about stuff like that. A couple years ago I showed him The Man Who Fell to Earth and told him that’s who he’d told off.]

Well its getting late and I still have dishes to wash.