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Spring Break 2010 Part 2 (everglades to ft meyers)
We ended up camping three nights in the Everglades, mostly bird watching and some hiking. One morning John and I both woke early so as not to disturb the rest of the camp we drove up to the marina got a cup of coffee and went and watched the sun rise over a lake. We had some nice company with a night heron fishing nearby who didn’t seem terribly alarmed at our presence. All in all it was a nice relaxing time.
We packed out early to head back to Big Cypress National Preserve. Driving out of the park I was profoundly struck on the abrupt change from the swamps to the agricultural lands. The absence of life was striking coming from where so close it is so thick. What a loss we have with these huge monocrop wastelands. It was really more like a desert than anything else. So sad and such a wrongness around it it could’ve broken my heart. i always cope with things like this by remembering it hasn’t always been this way and it is not always going to be this way its just this way right now. i send out prayers for effective preservation and using the park to build on restoring the whole ecosystem.
At Big Cypress we drove the loop road the other way and again parked near Sweet Water Strand and this time hiked the other way. There were a lot of alligators sunning themselves not only on the canal banks but out in the road. The dogs seemed like they couldn’t see the gators and were totally unconcerned. I think with the gators staying still and being unfamiliar to the dogs they just couldn’t see them. Probably for the best that the dogs don’t know whats out there waiting to eat ’em up.
From there we started our drive back North. We stopped in Ft Meyers and got a room. The next afternoon we went out to Pine Island and visited our longtime friend Jay and his wife CeeCee. They have a place right on a canal and Jay was eager to take us boating. Smokey was as ready as anyone but Shadow took some coaxing. Once we were out there though they really enjoyed it, except for when Smokey fell in the canal when we stopped for gas.
The wildlife was thick in the canals as they bordered on mangroves. So close to the city there was this huge explosion of life that rivaled the everglades. Gave me hope that we can live in some kind of harmony that allows biodiversity and wild beauty and still have all of the social goods of urbanity. We saw manitee, a bald eagle, dolphins, and the usual cast of avian characters. The Bay was calm so we got the canal boat out and frolicked with the dolphins a bit before putting back to home.
Jay made a nice lunch and we took a drive over to another bald eagle nest. There was one in the nest and one on a nearby branch. The one on the branch took wing and the one in the nest eventually joined him calling back and forth. It was really really cool. We decided to wrap up our visit while our hosts still thought the dogs were cute and headed back to our room.
love spring
It was beautiful after work and great to get out and do some mucking around with the garden. I cleaned up the herb bed and can give my first detailed report. The tarragon is looking great, the oregano is spreading nicely, the thyme is back in two places, and the local white sage could almost be described as pernicious and is enlarging its footprint this year. Bergamont is looking good and the chives continue. The parsley is back as well. Inside the rosemary rocked through the winter and will move outside noticeably larger.
I raked off the leaves off the strawberries and was disappointed. I think i had them on too thick and wet and lost some plants. Nonetheless there’s a lot of them and most look great. With the early super cold snap I might have lost some anyway, who knows. I have a lot of leaves now and turned the compost before adding a bushel to the working pile. The working pile looks great, the one finishing is struggling and needs a lot of work.
Glad the weather is cooperating and glad to be home and on it. On the flower front crocuses are up and doing well, especially the violet ones. Everything else is coming along. less and less bare every day.
Spring Break 2010 part 1 (home to everglades)
Back from vacation today. My brother John came through town and picked me up. We left the Saturday before last in the morning and drove through the day. He brought his dogs Shadow (Australian Shepherd) and Smokey (Australian Cattle Dog). It was rainy on day 1 so we didn’t really do anything else and got a Motel 6 room for the night.
We didn’t make too far and still had a long way to go so we decided to drive through the next night. We took a side trek to Russel Cave in NW Alabama. Its a federally managed archaeological site but we mostly used it as an excuse to get off the highway and into the woods for at least a bit.
The next morning found us in South Florida, a little punch drunk but none worse for the wear. We checked out sunrise in a pocket park at an early oil well. It was wet but there were a bunch of little deer in the distance. We drove into Big Cypress, stopping a couple of places to try to get info and see alligators. Eventually it warmed up enough for them to come out and I saw my first alligators.
We got a campsite at Monument Lake, pitched camp and relaxed a bit. Being a National Wildlife Refuge dogs were pretty limited, although with the thick layer of alligators we weren’t going to let them run around a lot on their own anyway. We ended up driving down a road out into the swamps, parking near Sweetwater Strand and hiking down the road. The Cypress were beautiful but it was sad as well as they were all pretty small. Apparently they got pretty ruthlessly cut in the 40s and we never saw a single big cypress in Big Cypress.
The Cypress stands were dense with birds and gators in incredible numbers. It added something to the hike seeing the big gators or hearing them splash into the water. Smokey got a little nervous but Shadow was oblivious to alligators.
We decided to just camp one day and move up our trip to the Keys so we could catch Lost at the Motel 6. One of the elevators were out so after routinely sneaking an extra dog into the room we finally got busted. John paid for 2 rooms so we could be legal but we decided to forgo our second day there.
So day 3 we left out of the hotel and drove down Highway 1 all the way to the end. It was rainy which thinned out the spring break crowds. Mostly just looked at the gulf and the ocean and all the islands. At Key West the sun came out and we walked around downtown. We went to the old Smokey Joes where Hemingway used to hang out and were going to hang out for a drink with an umbrella in it but we got tired of waiting and just left. We walked by Hemingway’s house and saw the giant Banyon Tree and we enjoyed the colorful rooster at the courthouse.
The drive back was more fun as the weather was better and we stopped off and walked a bit with the dogs. We got a room at a place that was pet friendly and sneeked the big dogs in without incident. The next morning we drove down to the Everglades. We checked out a pond where the black vultures were eating the rubber parts of peoples cars.
We camped at Flamingo campground which was pretty nice and really delved into the incredible complexity of life in the swamps. It was just so biologically rich you could literally just watch any area and a showcase of exotic animal life would descend their and put on a show. We speculated on how long you would have to be there before you became jaded to the spectacle and just went about your business blindly.
We kept stopping by the Marina because there had been manatee and crocodile sitings there. On one trip an Osprey flew overhead carrying a fish, we followed it and watched it closely as it sat on a branch. It called out and other Osprey came and it seemed like our Osprey with the fish was trying to date but a bigger Osprey hung out in the same tree like some kind of cock-blocker. Our first Osprey ended up just eating it. On the way out we saw a group of folks with cameras trained on a big Osprey nest. Sure enough there was a mama feeding her baby. We ended up seeing 4 Osprey with fish and countless others and became pretty familiar with their call.
At the visitor center there was a red shouldered hawk nest and we saw a number of those as well. I have had a thing for raptors especially hawks since this three week period of time some years ago when I saw a hawk take a rabbit, another grab up a squirrel, and a third narrowly miss a pigeon. All of these sitings were just driving around my normal business in the Monroe-Toledo are. Another notable raptor encounter happened in the Manistee national forest when i got repeatedly swooped by a pair of Goshawks, had me so spooked i was running blindly through the forest. Our other great Everglades raptor siting were swallow-tailed kites. They’re a really lovely bird and we watched them repeatedly. John got some great photos you can see at his picasa web.
“Appalachian Spring #4 (salamander dance)”
Hiking the georgia and some of the north carolina sections of the Appalachian Trail my overwhelming memories are of being tired and wet. Sometimes it was really hard and it was stressful hardly ever getting really dry and going through the exertion all day every day. Sometimes i was frayed and tempers flared a bit. More often though we rolled with it with good grace, humor, and determination. And we got to experience some amazing life changing adventures. I remember camping by ourselves in one shelter, open faced on one side over a near 36o view of the mountains. When clouds formed below us out peak jutted out of the mist liked a cloud island. When it rained and misted heavy the newts and salamanders and such would slide around, move about a bit. If you were sharp eyed you could see lots of different kinds sometimes right at your feet. We saw a lot in crystalline springs, up above the cattle. they like clean water. once we had been rained on off and on for days and was struggling to stay in good humor. this i wrote, as a whistling in the dark, trying to stave off some rain fueled misery, and quite successfully i might add.
If it starts to rain by chance
The salamanders do their dance
They do their dance
The salamander dance
And if it starts to rain some more
Then the frogs began to soar
There’s flying frogs all over the place
There’s flying frogs flying into your face
And if it starts to rain in pails
Then out will come the snails
With their slimy trails
Of snail entrails
And when the rain is finally done
Then out will come the sun
and the hikers will smile
For another mile
But if it starts to rain by chance
Then the salamanders do their dance
They do their dance
The salamander dance
“Appalachian Spring #2”
Hiking the AT we would frequently hike or hithhike into the nearest town to resupply, get some ben & jerries, do laundry that sort of thing. We saw some cute little towns and met some really nice folks. One town we didn’t much care for was Hiawasee Georgia. First off its one of those towns built around a state route so it sprawls for miles along a busy road being one building thick. Second we had both shaved our heads for the trip and Amee drew a lot of unfriendly looks. It was good to get a room with a bed and a shower but ultimately we preferred the woods. The poem i wrote is only 4 lines and i thought some more would come but except for some false starts its kind of just hung there. For good or ill here it is. It makes me think of the bards of old. You don’t want to offend a poet or you can find yourself knocked in verse.
I’d rather sleep in the rain boy
I’d rather sleep in the rain
Then in a king size bed in Hiawassee
I’d rather sleep in the rain
“Appalachian Spring #1”
In the spring of 2001 my wife at the time Amee and I quit our jobs, sold our stuff, and set out to hike a good chunk of the Appalachian Trail. Not long after we put in notice and right around when we had our sale I found out my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer. What had been the fulfillment of a lifelong dream became one of the most difficult times in my life. Not really understanding the gravity of the situation we started the hike at the trail’s southern terminus Springer Mountain in Georgia and hiked 136 trail miles North to the Nantahala Outdoor Center in North Carolina where our packs were stolen. It turned out to be a blessing as my mom ended up having very little time left and i got to spend a lot more time with her after curtailing the trip. The biggest lesson i learned is not to let your plans, hopes, dreams, or apparent obligations stand in the way of what is really important. Being there in a significant way for the ones you love. It was a pretty emotionally raw time and if i ever find my journal from the time i might write at length about the trip. I ended up writing a fair amount of poetry, almost exclusively silly and placed them in my chapbook “America: Its Land and Its People” under Appalachian Spring 1-4.
Appalachian Spring #1
Sassafras Mountain is green with nature’s love
But its ringed with solitude
For all those who will walk above
The speeding cars and the busy places
The teeming masses of the city spaces
Left behind for nature’s stasis
On Sassafras Mountain
first foray
After a pretty harsh winter I got my first real chance to get my hands in the dirt since probably November. I went to Westlakes as I had some other shopping to do. I got 2 more 50 lb bags of sand for the horseshoe pits for the winter settling. I also picked up 2 cubic yards of composted cotton waste. I paid a little more than if i would have gotten compost and peat but i figured composted ag waste was better than supporting peat mining, a fairly bad thing from what i’ve read. I also got a can of brown spray paint for the rain barrels, the special kind for plastic. Plus i got a small bottle of black for the rims and ridges so i have a faux rustic thing going. The can only covered 1 1/2 barrels so i will need another one. I saw bulbs and was tempted but resisted to focus on clean up, or so i thought. At Aldis i ended up getting 15 gladiolas and a gardenia. Dad wasn’t feeling up to cutting down the rest of the ant infested red bud so i didn’t have to stack wood and haul brush. Instead I dug up a small bed up on the high side on the east, next to the neighbors privacy fence. I put the gardenia in the middle and the glads around it, fairly dense, putting in about 4 inches of the cotton compost. I did a couple of short dense rows of mescalin mix over the tree roots where i couldn’t get very deep. Didn’t realize glads need to go in 8 inches or i probably would have put them elsewhere. Too wet to go about anywhere else. Lots of spring bulbs popping up, but no flowers yet. Doesn’t look like i’ve got many crocuses coming back. I think the squirrels have been in them. There’s this stubby tailed bastard i’ve caught in my tulips twice. Dad says i shouldn’t begrudge them a little eats. I also cleaned up my herb garden, white sage, chives, and oregano coming back already. I considered raking the leaves out of the beds but decided to wait. Compost is going slow. With a march vacation coming probably won’t get as much of the really early stuff in. Nonetheless some time outside felt really good.
“FREEZING MY ASS OFF IN ANZA BORREGO BY TEALIGHT”
After Amee and I split up I went to camp alone in the desert for some weeks. It was January so I went to the Anza Borrego desert in San Diego county. Very stark and beautiful and cold at night. The nights are long in January, so i spent a lot of time shivering in my tent thinking, reading by candlelight, and a little writing. So this would have been written in January 2002, and less a dark night of the soul then a time to really reflect on my purpose in the world. i got some good answers and it was time well spent. Anyone who comments on this post i will give a copy of my book “America: Its Land and Its People”. (Facebook comments don’t count, they have no history.)
I need to get real with people
Its easiest to do with strangers
With no history
Preconceived conceptions
Or formulaic patterns
To escape reality.
The fascination of discovery
Wonder
Total attention
The Universe condensed
To an understandable packet.
The most beautiful times
Are when that packet
Is the interaction.
The unity of two
The most difficult
To harmonize into the One.
As zero is nonbeing
And one is existance
Than two is one and not one.
Duality, the first separation
But between two is the
First Possibility of communication
A process that is One.
But if only one is being one
There is no communication
Only projections
Of the not one received by the one
And the Universe is the Other
And i am no more
Lost and forgotten
By even myself
I wander not in the unity of the One
Where I belong
Where I am nurtured
Where i am inexplicably me.
But in the Zero
Oblivion
Nothingness
The abyss
So excuse me
If I try
To make you get real
With me
I am only trying to exist.
Cadre Convening
Thursday and Friday I attended a convening of the Missouri Cadre for Co-Occurring Excellence. The Cadre is a group of clinicians and active consumers who meet quarterly to plan and strategize on improving services for individuals who have co-occurring mental health and substance abuse problems. It arose out of funding from the Missouri Foundation for Health hiring substance abuse agencies to do mental health work and mental health agencies to do substance abuse work with the idea that most individuals have both problems and would be better served if their services were delivered that way.
I have been attending for a couple of years, do a little committee work, and now serve on the Interim Committee, a quasi-democratic body charged with navigating us from a project of a foundation to an independent participatory democratic organization. Mostly its educational sessions by the charming duo of Dr Cline and Dr Minkoff, experts in the field of co-occurring disorders.
This convening was held at a Marriott in West St Louis. I was asked to bring along a consumer from Jeff City and agreed to do so. He was a real charming fellow and a bit manic which can be contagious and we had some real animated conversation driving out. It was nice to see someone else managing their disorder in a healthy and independent way and it made the drive fly by.
I had left at the ass crack of dawn, well quarter after, i was running late but was still a little late to the meeting. After wards I was talking to our fearless leader Craig who also sits on the credentialing board and I found out I likely have enough training hours to get my co-occurring specialist certification. This will allow me to bill for doing co-occurring counseling which is mostly what I do but i have to bill it as substance abuse counseling because that’s all the licensure I currently have. That was probably the most helpful thing I learned.
The conference programming was a lot of review and I can’t say I learned a whole hell of a lot. There was some stuff on stage matched groups that was interesting. There was also a role play of a group and the role players were really funny. There was also a lay out for a presentation on anxiety that looks helpful and replicable. Mostly it just validated my own approach to the work, which is good.
The evening of the conference I went and saw an old friend. It was really fun hanging out and we went to The Himalaya and I had my first Nepalese food. It was pretty good and reminded me of Indian cuisine. I also hardly got any sleep. We also watched 500 Days of Summer which was better than I expected.
At the previous conference we had focused on increasing consumer involvement so amongst other things we had a presentation by Tim Hamilton the founder of DRA (Dual Recovery Anonymous) and his wife Betty. Betty had asked for a show of hands of who has a dual disorder and I had outed myself as a lunatic with some drug history for the first time. I frequently do when talking to clients but rarely do when talking to other professionals. Its not relevant or helpful so i have known all these folks for years and then let them know i was on the other side of the fence.
So driving home from the last convening I had thought about the implications of that and it came to me that i should share this poem with them. It talks about being an agent of change and we fancy ourselves change agents in this movement of ours. I kept putting off asking for a little time on the agenda until the last piece. Craig was facilitating updates and it was dragging a bit. He was standing by me so i asked for the last 3 minutes for a closing. I read the following poem:
Becoming Whole
You see the whole absurdity in the human condition
And strive to see the beauty in the life that your living
You’ve overcome the emptiness
And learned the art of giving
And you have broken the chains
That once held you down
You have learned to rearrange
You are an agent of change
You think and you learn and you are
Destined for the stars
You love every part of life
You see the hope and the magic
You smile through the darkest nights
And rise to face the tragic
And you have opened your mind
And reached for the prize
You have learned to feel and grow
You can let people know
Change has happened before
It will happen again
The least shall rise up
The great shall pay for their sins
And you stand upon the rooftop
And shout out your agnostocism
Yet you love your neighbor as yourself
And live out your cathechism
And you have crossed the great valley
And are on the other side
You have faced the great fear
You have crossed the divide
You have learned to overcome
Light shines from your soul
You are mighty and strong and you are
Becoming Whole
It was really well received. I was nervous and put a lot of emotion into it. My proudest part was in my intro I mentioned that I had bi-polar disorder and that one of the gifts of that was poetry. I think I was definitely the only one to refer to bi-polar as a gift. So people liked it. I have pledged to post it on the Missouri Institute of Mental Health co-occurring list serve and Betty Hamilton talked to me about doing a CD for DRA, so maybe something will come of it. I am a little nervous with my increasingly high profile. There are so many apparent contradictions in my life that it just seems like someday they will have to come back and bite me in the ass. Not everyone believes “everything is true, everything is permissible”.
On the drive home i was very jazzed up from the energy and positive feedback. My co-pilot also was inspired and we had a great time making plans. We are going to bring Bruce C. in for a DRA speaker and try to reinvigorate DRA in Jeff City. Good things are coming and it feels good to be part of a movement again.
“Battle of Fallen Timbers”
I saw the Toledo Metroparks are having a March Forth on March Fourth and they are walking the site of the Battle of Fallen Timbers. If you are not a student of history there was a time in the Indian Wars when they were a lot more close. After the Revolutionary War the standing army of the United States was defeated by a coalition of Native American Tribes several years running. Washington finally pulled Anthony Wayne out of retirement who shaped up a pretty tight army which slowly and methodically beat back the indians across the Ohio country culminating in the final battle close to Toledo. Since I’m writing this in English and not Shawnee you can guess who won. In the midwest there is a lot of stuff named for Anthony Wayne most notably Fort Wayne but not so much for the indians. Here’s my poem on the subject again taken from my chapbook “America: Tales of Atrocity and Near Escape”. Ask me for a copy and i’ll give you one.
The Battle of Fallen Timbers
Gave us Mad Anthony Wayne
But the Indians who fought and died there
No one remembers their names
If Deja Vu didn’t have a name
Would I still feel like I’ve been here before?
If there weren’t just a few so incredibly rich
Would there have to be so many billions of poor?
And the winners right the history books
Always to cover their shame
And the winners get so self righteous
They’re never the ones to blame
If Deja Vu didn’t have a name
Would I still feel like I’ve been here before
If there weren’t just a few so incredibly rich
Would there have to be so many billions of poor
Shawnee
Delaware
Miami
Chippewa
Seneca
Ottawa
Potawatomie
Chiksika
Chief Pipe
Seekaboo
Tecumseh
Little Turtle
Stands Between
Weh-yah-pih-er-sehn-wah (Blue Jacket)
Thick Water
Big Fish
Turkeyfoot
Multiconstruct 
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