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selenelion
A selenelion is when the rising sun and setting eclipse moon are both visible in the sky at the same time. Its not supposed to be possible because one rises as the other sets but the view is refracted by our atmosphere so you can the moon even after its set. As I write this the nearly full moon is very big and bright and beautiful out my picture window. It was even more impressive this morning.
I don’t use an alarm as a rule, don’t own one and don’t have a cell phone. I just tell myself what time I want to get up before I go to bed and if I really need to be up I drink two glasses of water as recommended by O’ Henry in the ‘Ransom of Red Chief’. I was up late, restless last night but still up way early, 5ish. That meant I had all the time in the world which meant I was late and didn’t get to witness the gradual reddening. I started with coffee, the first of Honduran as a dark roast. Surprisingly good, my favorite one thus far out of the four coffees I’m currently roasting.
Fido was not excited about getting up early but he’s game for anything especially a walk. We walked to Bear Creek Trail park and no one was out to see it except a couple of joggers who didn’t look up. Had a nice view and there was a reddening of the sky on both the moon set side and the sun rise side. Very cool effect, my second favorite lunar eclipse ever.
Ended up walking Fido down the trail almost to Cosmo park and found the side trails where you can have dogs off leash. They’re really cool trails and we walked 1 1/4 mile before we got separated and I had to go back and find him. Used my Louis L’amour knowledge to know lost folks go down hill and found him. He was happy to see me but still kept taking off so I put him back on the leash. We stopped at the off leash park and he played with this standard poodle. I was proud of him for initiating play because the dog had tried to hump him so bad the last time he was there we had to leave.
Got home and went to The Winter Market. It was more then twice as big as last year in its new location at The Parqaid Center and its also in my neighborhood. There was a large festive crowd and a nice selection for winter. I got bell peppers, candy onions, purple cabbage, my first celeriac, and some goats milk lye soap. That was my only irritant, shelling out $11 for 2 bath sized bars and the guy trying to go for the add on sale of hand lotion. That irks me paying a premium and then trying to hit me for more. My irritation must have shown because the guy got very defensive and I told him I knew the add on sale was a common part of commerce. He gave me a stamped loyalty card which also irked me because if I would have bought my two bars on separate weeks I would have gotten two stamps. Last time I buy more then one I can tell you that.
Then I finished decorating the tree, decked out the ficus and put out the santas. Fido was pretty funny when he saw the one on the table in front of the window and started barking at it. Not going to get on the nice list that way Fido. Actually I have his presents bought. I got him a velvet scrunchie with bells to wear on Christmas, a stuffed donkey, and some duck treats. When I called John and told him Fido was full of burrs from his walk in the woods, he told me I should tell him when Fido doesn’t have burrs. He is a bit of a burr magnet.
Also gathered some milk weed seed. Going to sow those by the fence row tomorrow. Today I raked some leaves out front. I want to finish that tomorrow plus plant the rest of my bought late at discount tulip bulbs. Other then that been fighting with atheists on another blog. In Santa Monica they traditionally had a series of nativity scenes. After adding a menorah and Kwanza display to the dozen or so nativities they added an atheist display and then put the spots up on auction when there was more demand for inclusion. Atheists won almost all of them and are leaving them empty and only 3 nativities got to go up. It just seemed like a bully action and subversion of the process and I commented to that effect on an atheist blog crowing about their victory. No one dealt with my points and they just made attacks that had nothing to do with my critique. Fundamentalists are all the same, whether they’re Christian or Atheist. Can’t listen and respond but just launch talking points with no nuance or subtlety.
Made a boiled dinner. Brats out of Hermann (the town, not a name of a pig) turnips, potatoes, carrots, purple cabbage, green beans, garlic, onions, and green pepper (all local) with some fresh ground pepper and caraway seed. Pretty yummy. Going to make vegetable soup out of the leftovers.
All in all a most excellent day. Tired though so probably an early night. Going to try and watch Clockwork Orange. Will see if I can get past the rape scene that it opens up with.
holiday weekend
Its been a nice four days off work, like three Saturdays in a row and you still get Sunday. I got some gardening done, about 100 square feet in the raised bed John built. After he tested the soil and it came out with nothing I added 6 inches of horse manure, let that moulder for a while and turned it in good and planted it.
A couple of garlics I must have missed when I harvested had a bunch of little ones and I separated them and planted them first, then the garlic I had from the market, then the garlic Sarah gave me (German Porcelain). Then I got garlic from Trevor who had gotten it from “the Amish looking dude”. Also, right after the little garlic plants I planted a couple of cloves I grew. I picked up 2 kinds from the Root Cellar, the first was an Afghan garlic and then half a head of their generic local garlic. I planted them close because I like to maximize my space.
I also started turning over the soil in cold frame. I have some lettuce and spinach seed. I looked at Lowes when I bought furnace filters but they didn’t have any seed. A whole aisle of poison but not a seed for the Fall garden. I did get tulip bulbs dirt cheap and its only December. I’ve gotten them to work planting them in January.
I worked six of them by the end of the strawberry patch and weeded some. I had friends over and went out. I cooked food and ate food, cleaned, and kept the momentum going. Glad I have to go to work tomorrow before I forget how and think I live just to do what I feel like. I’ve been blessed to have more time doing that then most. I wrote this poem back in the day when I was living like that sort of and remembering when I was doing that for real. Dan Chisolm had a guitar accompaniment that was pretty cool and I remember singing it at our cabins up in Canada for Mike and Phoebe’s wedding when I was wooing Amee. My only real bad boy song. I have another one that I never did anything with but they were both written along with a third piece with several bad boy stories strung together but it was too busy, so I split it up. Any way here it is:
She said her boyfriend was out of town
And would I like to fool around?
She said her boyfriend was out of town
So you can probably guess where I was found.
And oh her kisses they were sweet
And the ecstasy couldn’t be beat
Smoking kief and fresh orange juice
I was feeling high, I was feeling loose.
And I’ve been lucky all my life
And sometimes wrong turns out all right,
It gets so lonely after sunset
I’ll steal some love to get through the night.
And oh her kisses they were sweet
And the ecstasy couldn’t be beat
Smoking kief and fresh orange juice
I was feeling high, I was feeling loose.
Standard Bronze Wins the Gold
I can’t write anything about Thanksgiving without beginning with gratitude. Working in the field of addiction treatment I see first hand the power of that emotion, those thoughts and actions, allowing acceptance of present day realities as a platform for a better life. I saw a meme going around happiness doesn’t make you grateful, gratitude makes you happy. There’s a lot of truth there.
Nonetheless Thanksgiving takes it on the chin as a celebration of colonial imperialism and a day devoted to gluttony and excess. I was chatting with an individual of Native American extraction who asked about my holiday plans and after sharing them I asked after his. He said he wasn’t making a big of it because it didn’t have positive associations for him as the whole thing turned out. I couldn’t do anything but apologize. Another friend rails against Thanksgiving like its an abhorrent thing and his angst ridden pseudo-suffering seems more like an excuse to judge. I could do nothing but ignore it.
For me, a fan of both family and community and cooking good food, its a day to be celebrated without limits. I am a fan of what I call “the good life”, living well but in harmony. I wanted to make a feast but without promoting things that I find abhorrent. And with the able assistance of my housemate Kevin we cooked the shit out of this Thanksgiving with local sustainably raised stuff and put out a feast we could be proud of.
You may recall the cooking began last week when I made chicken stock out of the bits and pieces of my roasting chicken I had made the open up room in the freezer. I also got my shopping done but only because Kevin made a couple of trips to the store so I could add a few things.
Tuesday I picked up my bird. I had ordered an heirloom turkey at the Root Cellar a couple weeks back and learned they would do first come first serve at 10:00 but I had already booked a 2 hour 9:30. I wanted a big one under the mistaken notion that females are bigger and you get more white meat. Actually when I looked up the particular on the Standard Bronze I ended up with I learned males are bigger which makes a lot of sense when I think of it.
Regardless, my friend Gretchen had agreed to pick it up for me at 10:00 and I drove to her place on my lunch hour. Helpfully, Fresh Air was replaying a segment from 1987, I think, with a food chemist on how to roast a turkey. She said brine it overnight with a cup of salt, 2 cups for giant turkeys and more if you use Kosher salt. This is of course for fresh birds only. Corporate birds are pre-brined of course amongst other things in their little plastic shells.
The show had just gone on to touch on the trickiness of getting the thighs & legs up to 155 degrees without overcooking the breast when I got to Gretchens. I considered hearing her out but I was on my lunch hour and still had hopes of getting lunch. Apparently Terri Gross is pretty attached to this segment so maybe I’ll catch it next year but I made a note of the phenomenon and got my bird.
I had to give Gretchen more money because it was a mammoth thing at 21 #s and at $7.50 a pound it was a chunk of change. A considerable chunk of change. But for good reason. Turkey farming is tricky being willful birds prone to total die offs for more then a couple reasons. Bobtail Whites, the 99.9% turkey of choice is sedate and unnaturally big breasted to the point of not being able to bread without a turkey baster anymore. They can fly and get into more mischief and you factor in inputs and risk and no externalized costs (corporate turkeys pollute the water, eat commercial corn with all of its issues, and are charnal houses of horror that diminish the souls of everyone who devours them) and they are appropriately priced.
To live in a world of small family farms we have to pay more. Right now Americans only spend 7% or so of their income on food. Cheap food is expensive to the planet, the farmer, and our communities. Europe spends around 10% and I think in the Philippines they pay 40%, some countries are higher. Regardless of all that it was cool enough to leave the turkey in the car until after work when I threw it in the fridge.
Wednesday morning I pulled the Rouge Vif D’Etampes Pumpkin(AKA Cinderella pumpkin) off the front porch, washed it good, cut it in half, scooped out the guts and baked on a cookie sheet with some water and pumpkin spices (just to scent the house). I roasted the seeds (greased cookie sheet with olive oil, sprinkle with Bob’s Steak Seasoning [corporate seasoned sugar/salt Dad bought]) which were not numerous but big and juicy and they came out good.
I cooked the pumpkin until it was soft, could’ve been softer, peeled and mashed and beat. I had promised Kevin I would blend it when I offered to prep the pumpkin vs using the canned variety but I was already overwhelmed by the pumpkin mess I had so far for a before work morning, even on my late day. {I just made a second pot of coffee for this cold and rainy Saturday morning, its a medium roast South Seas coffee I roasted last weekend, oh so delicious, and the 2nd press pot is such a luxury.}
Wednesday night I brined the turkey. I did it in the bag and added a cup of salt (1/2 canning salt, all I had), water and all the ice in the freezer (and they laughed when I threw the rest of the bag in the freezer at my last Summer party). After thinking about it and the pasture raised turkey being a little tough last year I added another 3/4 cup iodized salt (all that I had). The radio lady said it could be crusted on, you just got to rinse it good.
I put the bag in a bucket and the bucket in the basement/garage (I am blessed with a split level new readers). Then I realized I didn’t really know how to cook a turkey. Up until this year my method was to say “Hey Mom” or later “Hey Dad, how do you cook a turkey again?” This is why grief is intrinsically a year long commitment. You never really know what someone means to you until they’re not there and you have to experience the loss.
With my mom it was pickles. Thinking of the seasons it must have been 6 or 7 months after she died, I know I wasn’t thinking of it every day anymore, when Amee, my wife at the time, was talking to her mom about her making pickles. It hit me like a thunderclap, I would never again eat my mom’s pickles and I just started crying.
But thank God now orphans have the internet and Whole Paycheck, though lacking any other parental quality reminded me of the particulars of roasting a turkey. I see why they hold the 1 spot on Google as it was easy to find, well organized and comprehensive. They recommended less salt in the brine but I was undaunted because you don’t make a lot of money selling salt but you do selling “healthier” food. (You always have to factor in the economic angle of who is providing your information). They did mention you are supposed to pull out the squishy things which I had forgotten to do and pulled them and the sizable neck out of Tom’s yahoo.
I think we do our birds at 350 1/4 hour per pound and Whole Paycheck said 325-375 so I felt good about that. On the breast up or down debate they split the difference with an hour of down and flip it so you get the best of both worlds, juicier breast and crisped up skin. Cover it with foil but uncover for an hour, which Kevin suggested half the time covered, half uncovered, under the theory you can always cover it back up if it gets done to quick as I had been bouncing my research off him as he wrapped up his first day of solid cooking.
Thursday I got going on the turkey around 7:30. I pulled it out of the ice water and rinsed it good and gave it an hour to get rid of the chill before going into the oven which both Kevin and Whole Paycheck recommended. It took me near that amount of time to deal with it. I carefully went over the pretty thick skin and pulled out feather pieces. Bronzes are notorious for this I later read and this turkey lived up to it. Knowing it was intrinsic to the breed made me feel better. After laying out a ton of money I was kind of expecting perfection.
I also rubbed the bird with olive oil and stuffed with a quartered orange (Kevin’s idea) that had been hanging in the fridge for a while, left over fresh herbs (parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme) Kevin had bought for the dressing with some marjoram and oregano from the garden. I also shoved in a few pieces of celery, heavy on the leafy part and a few whole cloves of garlic.
I added a pint of seasoned chicken stock and 1/2 bottle of an Italian white wine. I didn’t pre-heat the oven on consideration of the letting the turkey get to room temp made me think a gradual rise in temp was better. I folded in my turkey and wrapped in foil on the bottom rack because that’s the only way it would fit. Got her going at 8:30 as planned.
I made stock out of the neck, organs & folds of skin from the neck end and the ass end and I threw in the ass as well. I added marjoram and oregano and mace and set that to simmer for 4 hours.
Kevin helped me flip the bird and yest that pun was used which was a little tricky but wooden spoons up both ends did the job. 1/2 hour later and a 1/2 hour later I basted again. At its weight I was anticipating a 5 1/4 hour cook time with checking it a 1/2 hour early recommended by Whole Paycheck I pulled the foil off. Before then Kevin had made wing tip booties to keep them from getting over done.
The breast got nice and bronzed early so we put a piece of foil over that. We checked the temp in the crook of the thigh and we got 155 at 12:30 and pulled it out to rest until carving.
The dark meat was strong tasting, almost gamy and was hard to carve. The white meat was incredibly delicious. Juicy and intensely flavorful, I couldn’t have been more pleased. There was a layer of subcutaneous fat and the thin was thick so it wasn’t particularly edible but you shouldn’t be eating that stuff anyway. There was some integument I’ve been cutting out and tossing to Fido as well but I suspect that’s the cost of doing business with having birds that walk around and lead a life.
Reviews were very positive, it was a fine looking bird and people liked it. It was part of an excellent meal with a great assemblage of interesting people and was a pretty nice Thanksgiving. In addition to the turkey I also did mashed potatoes; red new potatoes with the skins on mashed with butter, whole milk and sour cream and sprinkled with minced wild onions (the fall crop is in, if you get them early they are like a more pungent chive, much better in my opinion).
Kevin did an array of from the basics with foody flair and put over 16 hours in the kitchen in two days. The guests brought some wonderful items as well leading to a colorful array of delectable morsels. Kevin paired the meal with a Stone Hill (out of Hermann MO) Norton that was excellent, dry and flavorful. We probably were easily pushing 90% local for the spread and it tasted like it.
I would like to tell you about the party and I may but I’ve been writing this post for days and my coffees getting drunk and I am wanting to get about my day three of a a four day weekend. A trip to the store, some house cleaning while I have momentum and its getting to be Christmas tree time, perhaps tomorrow.
at least kittens still work
I’ve had a pretty relaxed weekend going into it with a sick day. Gave me permission to take it easy even though its really nice out there. Its been a beautiful Fall and I am thankful, also for seeing gratitude lists start to come out. Its a nice time of year for a lot of reason. I devoted yesterday to crushing a novel which is something I haven’t done for a while. I knocked out most of “Peshawar Lancers” by S.M. Stirling. One of my favorite authors, I like his novels on The Change, post-apocalyptic fiction.
This is straight up alternative history. Set in modern times but in a world where a meteor broke up over the Northern Hemisphere in the mid 19th century, leaving Europe and North America in a three year winter and decent into cannibalism. The British Empire makes an Exodus to India, South Africa & Australia mostly with the heart of the Empire in India. So you end up with sort of a steam punk world with slower advancement airships, Victorian culture with a nice cross pollination of the cultures of the subcontinent.
Nice setting for an adventure story with the villain being the Russian cannibalistic Satan worshiping state church with girls they have bred who can see the future. Charming and fast paced story and I learned a little bit about Hindus and Sikhs. Can’t beat that, but it killed my productivity yesterday.
I did get some laundry hung and started turning the second half of the cold frame. Finishing that is my next project. Today I’ve devoted to puttering and cleaning house and the house certainly needed it. Got the place swept out, could have used more but I gave it a ‘lick and a promise’ as Grandma Trapp used to say. I find everything is connected to everything else and start cleaning and it can suck up my whole day. I miss Amee’s whirlwind where she could just knock stuff out. I am stuck slowly plodding along, stopping to ponder what I find, stymied on where to put stuff, etc, etc, etc.
Today though I did find a steno pad with some poetry I haven’t posted. I wrote this riffing off of Ignatius of Loyola’s bit on humility out of his Spiritual Exercises, which I still haven’t completely read. I was at a conference at some type of Catholic institution and they had a library and I pulled it off the shelf and read a random page on humility that shook me to the core pondering it. It heavily influenced this poem as I tried to assimilate its implications.
Ignatius was a bad ass and a powerful dude. I later bought the book but read how your supposed to be coached through them on a retreat and its better to not know what’s coming. I took it and a bible with me on a 2 1/2 week backpacking trip and worked them in a bastardized way. It was life changing. I felt I had to back off (I was going for the whole deal in a 30 day give or take deal) or risk making a permanent severance with the mundane world. Wasn’t quite ready for that nor did I feel it was necessary.
But setting all that aside I had only read the one page once when I wrote this which I guess I’m calling “Like cigarettes speak for the dead”:
Like cigarettes speak for the dead
They always have
Even since before the world was broken
But at least kittens still work
And many other Sunny Things
Fly high, some higher
Than they’ve ever flown before
Icarus wings perhaps
But at least we’ve known the Sun
And the Son remembers
Someone’s got to decide
If when, if then
I remember, am remembererd
I live, I live, I live
Humility in a poet takes reading
Ignatius of Loyola
Spelling it all out in 3 paragraphs
A thinking man can understand
Humility is the exercise of the will
For the purpose of promoting the will of God
As you follow the pursuits
Only accepting material gratification, social standing
Yea, life itself in a way compatible to the GOOD.
A noble path of humility indeed
Which only the best of us abandon ourselves to
And know the bliss of a clean conscience
In a world gone mad
With violence and control
Ego projection, ego projection, ego projection
Of course you haven’t forgotten
They were the happiest days of your life
We will always be one
And other evil lies said in the language of Action
In the real world
The real fucking world
Fucked up shit goes down.
Its happening right now
All around us
And the deeper path of humility
Cries out for us
For us to walk the path
(To)For the perfect world
That’s coming
Or walk away
And heal and mourn
And watch and pray.
When the final destruction comes
Lurches closer to being
Both or either
I don’t know
But all 3 demand
Us walk the past of
holiness and we’ll
take riches or poverty,
Happiness or unhappiness,
Respect or rancor, as
Secondary to the quest
For the perfect world
Knowing god
As only two loving
Beings can love
Hugging, not being hugged
Remembering and remembered
Image reflection
You know the Kingdom of God,
At hand, within you,
Many mansions, many mansions, many mansions
And real life with its
Treasures and responsibilities
And pleasure gratifications
Are all set aside
Treated as the same
Whatever occurs
In our place in the unfolding of divine will
The few that walk this holy road
For exercise if nothing else
Can choose a third path
Of striving for the divine plan
With all your heart, mind and soul
For so is love perfected in us
And whenever possible
To follow the path of the low
The poor, the reviled
The ignored, until even our
Death serves the divine will.
respecting the weekend
Two naps in two days, its been a good weekend for self care. The time change didn’t hurt any either, I could take a 25 hour day. I am focusing more on the extra hour of daylight in the morning rather then the one lopped off my evening. I had napped so was up late and slept in and was still up by seven.
I drank coffee and read the paper. The most interesting article (Jan Weiss I think her name is writes the gardening column in the Trib) was on “frost flowers”. Apparently your supposed to go walking in the woods presunrise on the morning of the first hard frost and a few different wild flowers, one of which is common around here sheds ice crystals through its water transportation system and its a beautiful effect. Maybe next year the first hard frost seems worth acknowledging as a seasonal rite of passage. Has common sense rituals built in, bring in everything that can be harmed by the cold. Now go walking in the woods in the early morning. We’ll see, I may not do it , but I doubt I’ll forget.
I roasted coffee, light roast Sumatran and washed my sheets. While they were washing I double dug half the cold frame and added a wheelbarrow of horse manure. Boy that changed the character of the soil. Most of it had never been worked, it was a chore doing that. Chatted with the neighbor who thought it looked like rain. Local weather said tomorrow so I hung my stuff out in the windy day. Forecasters right again as it turned out.
Took Fido for a walk to the park. There were dogs there but he didn’t really get his play on. First it was Goldilocks syndrome some too big, the little puppy to small. But then some poodles came and he didn’t really even try to engage. He did remind me of Tiger when I saw all the other dogs neatly groomed and he in his DIY haircut. It made me think of my two poems I’ve written about Tiger, my mom’s best dog. The best one I don’t quite remember it all but will come up with something to post because I think I’ve been through all the poetry I have written down on file. This first one I wrote in my creative writing class and was supposed to be a haiku but didn’t reference the season. Tiger wasn’t fourteen but he did end up passing away when he was 14 many years later.
My dog is fourteen
That’s ninety to you and me
No longer he’s dead
So since Fido wasn’t playing we came home and decided to prioritize nap over further productivity. Things will get done when they get done.
Made coffee and stuttered puttering with dinner. I made sauce for my tortellini as follows: I scalded a bunch of tomatoes from my garden, Sarah’s garden, & a free box off the curb near the Farmer’s market all picked green before the hard frost (see the connection) that had ripened on the counter so I could remove the skins. I browned a pound of pasture raised ground round in some olive oil, a big yellow onion, a gypsy pepper and a green bell pepper. I added maybe four tablespoons fresh oregano, and a tsp each of fresh and dry basil and the tomatoes after the meat browned. Added some Bob’s Steak seasoning for the salt contingent and a shot of agave nectar to cut down on the fresh tomato bitterness. Just before it was done I pressed a giant clove of local garlic. With the tortellini and Kevin made garlic bread I did red lettuce salad with shaved carrots, raisins, croutons, & ranch. I also broke out the green tomato chutney which broke the Italian thing and had a Boulevard’s Unfiltered Wheat. Nice.
Then I’m gearing up for some Walking Dead and I’m going to give Hell on Wheels a shot. Kevin got V for Vendetta from 9th St Video but that’ll have to wait another day.
sunrise war
Watching some Two Towers, first time seeing the directors cut, because the one thing about those films is they just aren’t long enough. Its really a brilliant film though but not quite enough to hold my complete interest a third time through. Frodo is such a Christ figure as his heroism is to endure undeserved suffering. I love the scene where he eavesdrops on Gollem and realizes he was once a lot like himself once and calls him Smeagel. Embracing his shadow self, he opens his heart and learns what he has to learn to move him along on his journey. Man, Tolkien rocked. The return of Gandalf the sweeping story arc, its just a great tale.
My own tale has been more modest and my Saturday has been more relaxing then I had anticipated. A little sad it being Dad’s birthday but glad for Fifth of November plans, won’t forget Guy Faukes day again. I saw Julie had written him a birthday note on his wall and since not even death will stop a facebook account I did the same. Been feeling it a bit with John back in California but being alone has its pluses too.
After coffee and the paper I hung out my laundry in overcast skies. The paper said no rain and ultimately the clouds broke and it got pretty nice. I went to the market and mostly realized that if you don’t cook you don’t get to buy produce. I got a nice head of lettuce and some green peppers and some ground beast but forgot to get eggs. The cold thinned out the crowd and the # of vendors. Now I wish I would have gotten a Patric chocolate bar at the book store yesterday.
I decided to make pottage for the potluck portion of Occupy Como. I had some spinach from last week’s market, perhaps even the week before that needed to be eaten and the kale from Sarah’s garden. It was a sizable amount so I decided to make it on the stove top instead of the rice cooker. I added a cup each of white and brown rice a cup of lentils and 6 cups of water. I added the little onions out of Sarah’s garden, another big cooking onion, 1/2 of a big head of garlic, a little less then a cup of olive oil, fresh oregano out of my garden, three dried hot peppers out of Trevor’s garden and 1/2 tsp of salt or so. Brought it to a boil and simmered the liquid of it. Pretty tasty.
Then it was time for Fido and I to hit the occupation. There was a good crowd with some speeches we couldn’t hear very well and maybe 100-150 people and a few other dogs. Fido was pretty chill but we stuck to the back. Saw Sharon and Megan but didn’t do much more then say ‘hi’ as the march was starting. I saw some other familiar faces but we never got close enough to say ‘hi’.
I was talking in my group on Friday about how there is very little difference between being a friendly and outgoing person and acting like you are a friendly and outgoing person. I decided today I am a friendly but aloof person because we didn’t really chat anyone up. Fido drew some admirers and got his belly rubbed more then once. He was also around some little kids which is good practice. He was generally admired and people commented on his good behavior.
We marched up to Bank of America with more speeches and I got to experience ‘The People’s Mic’ thank you no amplification at Zucoti Park, you’ve created a thing. Pretty cool but I saw a video bit with people doing it to disrupt a speech by the Wisconsin Governator that was very “Two legs good, four legs bad” kind of politics I find vaguely disturbing. As we were breaking up to go back to Liberty Square (the keyhole plaza in front of City Hall) Fido jumped on the brick planter without plants in front of the bank. I caught a flash and realized B of A employees were taking his picture. Fido was the only disruptive critter so I got him down and scolded him for his radical ways. Now he probably has a file with The Man.
So I didn’t have enough change to stay for the potluck which I wasn’t feeling anyway and I am as I said aloof so I left the pottage in the car and caught the scene for a bit. A guy gave me a flyer on why corporations are bad and said we needed cooperation instead of competition. I said we needed both but the pendulum was to far that’s for sure.
We stopped at the store so I could forget eggs again and pick up a few things. I was going to make a banana/squash bread too. Maybe tomorrow. I hope to get out to Lowes or someplace and get furnace filters and a programmable thermostat. Kevin and I are on the same schedule so I should be able to significantly cut back on the overall temps of the house and still up my critical 6:30-8:00 time when I might feel OK about putting the heat up a bit to Western standards of comfort.
I’ll also need to bring my laundry in since I didn’t do it today. I took a long nap which I felt was nice but sorry to miss the sunniest warmest part of the day. I did unload more horse manure and hope to have the main bed ready to go and get some garlic in. I don’t think I am going to put anything else in until i get the cold frame going, but that needs busting sod and double digging plus the manure bit, a lot of work and little daylight not sucked up by work. But one step at a time, do something every day, it’ll happen when it happens. The rest was nice though and well deserved. But the backyard squirrel has taken the trouble to get chubbier then I’ve ever seen him so he at least is expecting another hard winter. He must’ve heard about the La Nina sticking around for an extra year. Its a shame we broke the weather.
If I get through that Trevor’s going to see this Russian movie that looks pretty good. Its set near where Lisa is in the Peace Corps. Fido needs a walk too and Harry’s coming over for Walking Dead so we will see.
As part of my having a definitive list of blog poetry to add to now I am going to end with the second poem I wrote when I went mad in Amsterdam in 1996, which I’ve blogged about extensively. I had written my first one in an attempt I think to reach out and define myself because I was unraveling and my self organization was starting to flicker a bit, on and off. Everything was poignant with the intensity dial being set on 11, all day every day. Feeling a lot of stuff I had been stuffing. I blasted out my first pretty decent and emotionally honest poem.
I shared with the people I was with I think, all that was hazy but I remember them talking about Martin, the guy who owned the mind spa we were staying at speaking several languages and I said I could write poetry in any language. With a German dictionary I wrote a haiku. I gave it in German and English and the other to Jennifer who later sent them both to me when I was in my mad convalescence but I don’t know if I could lay hands them on anymore. When I wrote the haiku I started with one I’d written years earlier when I wanted to write a series of 5-7-5s (haiku without a season) on the major arcana in the Tarot. I only got the first one:
The Fool
S(he) walks towards the cliff
Not hearing the warning cry
S(he) does not need to
######
Sunrise War
Sunrise War
Around dying Autumnal fires
‘Til sleep intervenes
a free verse poem about anything
An interesting night, all dressed up no place to go, if I was capable of being frustrated, I might have been. I was pledged to go to the Dinner Train to Centralia something I had been wanting to do and the Odd Fellows reserved a car. Tre and I were gonna go but he got sick and I couldn’t find the take off spot. The guy at Caseys didn’t know nor did the guy at the bookstore. So I bought a book. If I were up to the technological norm I could’ve looked it up easily, instead I just accepted it wasn’t going to be. Next time.
Thank goodness I have had ample opportunity to walk through a lot of frustrating situations with people and encourage them to roll with stuff outside of their control. I also read and preach a lot of stoic philosophy. All that helps me just roll with stuff enjoy the ride be flexible. I might do a lecture on stoic thought when I finish my series on self esteem. Got some good students, one with 8 pages of notes, cross referenced by topic because I like to skip around.
Most interesting conversation I’ve had has been on facebook. We were talking about judgement, he critiquing my encouragement of Fire your Bank day. (4.5 billion dollars pulled out of banks I heard on Marketplace and more people have joined a credit union in the last 6 weeks then in a normal year. That’s a nice protest with the multibillion dollar hit.) Anyway he cited Bruce Cockburn as saying we all want judgement on somebody else and said the Occupiers were as greedy as the banks.
I conceded his first point but challenged the second that banks with more resources are more liable to judgement for not helping the poor and that activists with some notable exceptions often take a financial hit and have a sincere desire to help and a simple lifestyle. He commented back saying salvation comes from belief not good works. But I wasn’t saying you get to go to heaven for doing good, I just said you face damnation for not. But we’re talking about different stuff, I don’t buy the concrete version of heaven.
The heaven I believe in is more conceptual, an idea, the memic universe. Do you want to know if you are living forever? Are you living forever right now? Investment in the trappings of wealth or power block out the eternal now that is accessible in a child like way to anyone who reaches out for it. That’s what I’m saying. Greed and accumulation make people scared, shuts off from real experience and transcendent awareness. I know because if they had it they wouldn’t act like that. You couldn’t if you value others like yourself.
Mostly I want to put up more poetry. This one I wrote a slight variation on the first line in my first chap book 16 Best. I took the title of the book from the CD that John Glenn took into space Neil Diamond’s 16 Best. I wrote on the top of a blank page something like “I can write a free verse poem about anything” as a statement that I could finish it on a first draft and have it be a pretty good poem. I couldn’t, and ended up hacking out a short little shitty thing. Some time later though in a late night manic rush I blasted through the thing in its completed form in only a little more time then it takes to read it ( a bit over 3 minutes unless I’m doing it in a slam with 3 minute time limit which I pick up the pace. I consider it my definitive slam poem.
I can write a free verse poem about anything
If I want to extend my ego
Or I can just let the world be
All fucked up and beautiful
Six billion lives alone
Living in self imposed exile
From real experience
Cast adrift in a specific social milieu
Which is then projected onto the rest of humanity
Except for those, few or many
We think of as “others”
People so alien to our experience that we deny our common existence as people
Greeks and Barbarians
A five thousand years old idea
Which still dominates our consciousness
And of course it does
How we clothe ourselves, how we feed ourselves
How we have shelter and transportation and the frivilous entertainments that make a C+ life feel like a solid A-
Can I hear an amen please?
Because of course I’m preachin’
In a free verse poem about anything.
The last frontier of the wordy hypocrite
On vacation from responsibility
When the knowledge that we are all one
And the world is in pain
Often and harsh and often preventable
If we can care more, know more, do more
more, more, more, or
nothing…
Block it out
Return to the acceptable
Accept the inevitable
Of the way things are
Just sit back an enjoy the fringe benefits that go to those citizens and their neighbors who get to vote every four years or so for one of the two guys who learned how best to suck up to power and gets to be the CEO of the big stick of Capital
Bread and circuses baby
Only now its on a hundred and fifteen channels
And the bread may take a little longer to get then it used to
But its so good
That’s why most of us have to make it
Or serve it
Instead of painting and writing poetry
Singing and dancing and growing gardens
We wouldn’t want them to do that would we?
I can’t make my own fucking Big Mac can I?
It isn’t someone has to dig the ditches anymore
Now its the guy who gets to drive the ditch digging machine is a lucky bastard
With a fat paycheck and a good tan
A paid lunch and health insurance
May I take your order please?
Would you like fries with that?
I’ll suck your dick for fifty dollars.
Because of course a man has to talk about sex in a free verse poem about anything
Because money buys sex and not just servitude
Would you like fries with that?
If you turn your back I’ll kill you
Just for what you’ve got in your pockets
I can’t write ads to sell cigarettes to teenagers in Asia can I?
But I watch the same TV commercials that you do
Where the guy in the phat car gets the skinny girl with the big tits and perfect teeth
And guess what motherfucker
Guns are cheap
Would you like fries with that?
“congressman paul was right on that”
Watching some Republican debate action. Everyone looks very earnest as there is yet another over stylized singing of the national anthem. Rick Santorum sings along. Rick “don’t google me” Santorum kept it brief. I would like to see them follow the rules of the debate, listen to each other and the question, and answer it as directed. This spew a sound byte instead of thinking is a troubling turn and if you’ve ever talked to someone who communicates that way, its annoying.
Its been a pretty busy day. I was up late last night and had a busy one. A challenging but engaging two hour co-occurring disorders group, but it ended up all coming together nicely. I start each group with a “check in” your name and how you feel. I ask people not to use the 4 meaningless peaces of politeness “good”,” fine”, “OK”, and “alright” and the generally is a body feeling “tired”. I had to check in myself as “defensive” half way through the first hour and used it to teach how I had observed it behaviorally and not felt it as an emotion but still knew it was true. I like to teach the sociopaths that not being able to feel feelings is an excuse. Left me worn out but got through the rest of the afternoon.
John made supper so i got to bring in the plants as the paper was calling for 32 degrees for the next 2 nights. I also started up the furnace. I got a whole mess of green tomatoes. I’m going to fry them up for dinner on Friday, maybe. Maybe, I’ll do it Parmesan style. I wouldn’t mind doing green tomato jelly as well but that’ll take some doing. I am going to St Louis for the weekend so I would have to research, shop & make it all on week nights. maybe.
So the debate has been going on. Some real answers and interactions. A lot of nonsense and a fair amount of dare i say dickishness. Again only Ron Paul has any attractive qualities. The courts are unfair to minorities, they’re against Obama care because Democrats proposed it. He just says it like it is. Bachman is against the 14th amendment and she calls herself a constitutional conservative, but they’re all like that. I “liked” the constitution because all they talked about was amending it.
pretty fall day
Continuing to blog every day as an act of discipline and to gear up for write a novel in november month. I have my protagonist and most of a story arc. It came to me today at the market and we’ll see if i can pull it off. Its only 1,637 words a day or something. I have been doing that some days and a third of that every day but yesterday. Blogged twice today, I don’t want to be a zealot about it but i like producing and it’s nice to get caught up after giving myself permission not to push it.
Watching Tiger baseball again. Cabrera got a solo shot in the first and we have the early lead. Scherzer’s pitching. We need two more to go to the World Series, win or go home. Texas is a good team, can move runners around so if the Tiges don’t end up pulling it out its not like they lost to the Yankees or anything. I have dinner on the stove so if you notice a shift in tone, i took a dinner break.
Had coffee early with Harry and John before going to the market. Harry and I decided to get pumpkins so I took two trips and got a ton of stuff. Got two big regular pumkins and a grey green one as well. I put them on the porch but i’m going to get another big one and some pie pumpkins next week and take them all to St Louis for campfire pumpkin carving for Mark’s birthday. It should be a fun trip as Jillian will be in town and we’re also going to a haunted house. Better check my boiled dinner.
Almost, but I want the potatoes to be done. I did turnips, sweet corn (it was planted in July so its like early spring tender), string beans & purple peas out of trevor’s garden, red pepper, yukon gold potatoes, baby portobellos, fresh oregano, red onions, & smoked sausage. Its looking pretty good.
The market was a nice one and it was a little crisp in the morning especially but another beautiful day. We remarked its been perfect for as long as either of us could remember. I could get used to this and I was filled with a keen appreciation for the beautiful Fall day all day. I walked down to the end a little out of sorts as I had a lot of stuff from last week. Got red onions & green zebra tomatoes from Muddy Boots. There’s a dearth of onions this year, spring ones coming in pricey and not a lot put back but these reds were good. Got the sweet corn i mentioned and across the way got a nice head of broccoli and a couple of red peppers from a guy with dusty boots. Got an 8 # bag of fuji apples, got seconds for $5 there only crime being little. I told the apple lady i’d had good luck with seconds this year and the little golden crisps were some of the best apples i’d ever had. I told her I was making caramel apples and the little ones would boost my caramel ratio. I heard her telling the next shopper what I was doing when I was buying stuff at the next stall.
Grabbed a pumpkin and got charged $5 for pumpkin with the sign “pumpkins 3-4$”. The silver haired gent said it was a $5 pumpkin and I couldn’t argue with that. I spotted the grey green one but with hands full we went back to the car. Came back and got the eye balled and another one marked 800. I said” I’ll that seven and that eight which is fifteen, unless that says b00, how much is the boo pumpkin?” I got a smile from the farmer’s daughter which made me feel better about getting old. Also grabbed a bag of lettuce and listened to the old farmer tell someone he likes his greens raw, except for spinach. me too.
After the market i puttered with laundry and poop scooping washed up and made some egg sandwiches. Put Trevor’s cherry tomatoes, lettuce & the red onion on wheat bread with mayonnaise. Fried my market eggs in a little bacon grease, it was pretty yummy and john and i reminisced about mom and dad who both enjoyed that sandwich and reveled in it when the tomatoes were in season.
Harry came back and after another round of coffee in the back yard we went for a hike at Rockbridge. We did the trail over on 163 that’s named after a wildflower, whose name escapes me. A lot of the oaks had dropped their leaves and though the maples haven’t really gotten started we’re already post-peak. Its been so dry not a good year for color but pretty nonetheless. Smelled like Fall with some leaves on the ground. Oh, my Tigers are collapsing. 7-2 in the third.
I had Harry drop me off at Walt’s bike shop and picked up my bike from its broken spoke repair. A group of boy scouts were coming in on a tour, working on their bicycling merit badge. My clerk got summoned for tour duty and he wasn’t looking forward to it. “That’s how kids learn” was my comment and then understood his peevishness when the scout dude apologized for setting it up only 3 hours in advance. “its for the children”.
Did some more errands, shoveled over the big bed in hopes of getting a truck load of compost on Thursday. Want to be ready. Wouldn’t mind getting the cold frame turned over as well tomorrow. Cooked dinner and watched my Tiges collapse to end their season or set up the greatest comeback in the history of baseball. Oh well, some days you win, some days you lose, some days it rains. true dat.
no title
Watching the American League Championship game 1 and its no score in the 2nd Verlander is on the mound. At least it was, Rangers take a 1 run lead. As always baseball is pretty slow and gives me a chance to update my movements. Its been a pretty good day got up and drank a light/medium roast Guatemalan. Pretty yummy. Harry came by and I made another pot.
We went to the market and had breakfast burritos and listened to some accordion music. The guy had some kids out doing kids songs it was fun. It was a nice market and picked up a variety of peppers, some white sweet potatoes (i’d never had those), some organic sirloins, baby bok choy, turnips, some black maters and white onions both on the small side and a few other things. We decided not to brave downtown to go to Artrageous because of Homecoming.
We hiked instead and went out to Finger Lakes where there was a new trail to an alleged waterfall. We hiked out and enjoyed some Fall color. It seems a couple weeks pre-peak but it got me thinking that pre-peak might be the best color because there aren’t the bare spots you get when most leaves are peaking. Looks like the cotton woods are peaking first and it was pretty. We hiked on a mountain bike trail and it seemed like they packed as much trail in the space as they could so it seemed circuitous for hiking. There was a nice patch of tiny blue asters and it was a pretty enough trail. The waterfall was a bust though, dry as a bone. Must have been a while ago when the reporter did the trail.
Harry dropped me off and I took John’s offer for a haircut (short and looks good) and I got on some yard stuff. Turned the compost, maybe a couple weeks out from getting some. Might make some tea with it though. Dug up by the roses and cleaned out those beds and planted some crocuses. I got this giant variety, though I’m sure they’re still pretty small.
After that it was time to cook. John had gotten some cube steaks so I marinated them in fresh squeezed lime juice, diced garlic, & turmeric. I made my fire with cowboy charcoal and added some red bud pieces when i spilled the coals out of the chimney. I made a packet out of the white sweet potatoes that i peeled and diced with raisins, local honey, black walnuts from Michigan, and some fresh grated ginger with some extra pads of butter because Mrs. Selierman said the taters where dryer then the regular kind.
I also did up the turnip greens with a couple baby bok choy, green onions, white onions, a red poblano pepper, my own garlic. Fried up the hard stuff in bacon grease, then the garlic, then the greens which i then added malt vinegar, sesame oil & bitters and put a lid on it. Served with cottage cheese and hot bread & butter pickles. Pretty yummy.
Now if my tigers can come back it will have been a pretty good day.
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