Archive
risotto & taco chicken
What a roller coaster day. All my clients came and a counselor was out sick so it made for a jamming day. My meeting canceled so i was able to go to dad’s doctor appointment and we were all pleased to see he gained 3 pounds. The gluten free thing seems to be working. In the waiting room we watched some kind of closed circuit cooking show on healthy eating and decided to make the chicken dish. Its bastardized enough for me to claim as my own so i’ll share the recipe when i get to dinner.
One thing about being busy it makes the day go fast. I worked late wrapping things up and plotting some strategy to help a few folks quit smoking. I am adjusting to my new role but its a bit grueling and i don’t think it will ever let up.
I did come home to a fresh pot of french press. Starshmucks house i would guess. And Harry had scored some half & half. delicious. He also got some spinach and some fancy brown mushrooms that needed to be eaten so i decided to make risotto.
All of the broth had poison wheat so i used an organic Better than Bullion (2 teaspoons)and I added a little fresh tomato and zucchini and set it to warming in a quart of water. I cooked an onion and a half in olive oil added 3 cloves of garlic and cooked the mushrooms. I added the cleaned and de-stemmed spinach put a lid on it and let it wilt. I pulled out the solids and set aside. I added 1 1/2 cups or so of white rice with just a bit of the fancy itallian stuff your supposed to use. When the liquid would cook off the rice i would add more warm broth and gradually added another quart of water to the broth although 1 1/2 quarts is enough liquid. When the rice was almost done I stirred back in the mushrooms and spinach and there it is.
For the chicken i cubed up 3 breasts with a poblamo and a red bell pepper. I added a teaspoon or so of ground cumin and a teaspoon of tumeric (it called for chile powder but was out). Cooked that til the chicken was done and added frozen corn, a cup of taco sauce, a cup of feta and half a cup of sharp cheddar and heated that til it was warm. topped it off with corn tortillas fried in a little olive oil in the cast iron skillet. Forgot to put out the sour cream.
After dinner I was pretty cashed but Dad and I got a game of horse shoes in before dark. Busy but nice. Looking forward to the weekend, making pickles for my first time. Of course you’ll hear all about it.
I am Blessed
Its been a really long day in a really long series of days, nonetheless i am blessed. I wake up early so i don’t have to be jarred awake by the blare of an alarm and put myself on a time schedule right from get go. I take my chill out time first so i make sure i get it in whatever else happens in the day. For today that was good planning. Work was work, with an extra group at 7 added on which challenged my getting the lawn mowed before the rain. As did the rain that fell at 4 and then rained on me while i mowed the front and half the back from 5 to 7 as well as dinner. Harry made some good spaghetti, a little sagey i thought at dinner, he sages the ground beast so as to give it a sausage thing, to good effect. I’m looking forward to having it for lunch tomorrow, because as i mentioned, i am blessed. I did a process group for my random hour of work in the evening. I only live a block from work but i like the little walk to shift mental gears. I hope i’m not breaking confidentiality to reveal that three others were feeling pushed about getting their lawns mowed before the rain comes. I discussed the evils of should and its easy replacement with could, and declared that i could mow my lawn after work, or i could just lay around. I also said a couple of sentences about the wonders of gratitude. It can save your life as something to cling to in tough times and its pretty useful in all other times. So i came home and mowed my lawn. I remembered a tip Amee got from a self help book when we were married and remembered how good i would feel when i was pushing it out. And I do, my back feels great, my lawn is mowed. If it rains i am ready. if it does not i have plants to plant. there’s a tiger game on to watch with the popster. life is good. i am blessed.
“Appalachian Spring #4 (salamander dance)”
Hiking the georgia and some of the north carolina sections of the Appalachian Trail my overwhelming memories are of being tired and wet. Sometimes it was really hard and it was stressful hardly ever getting really dry and going through the exertion all day every day. Sometimes i was frayed and tempers flared a bit. More often though we rolled with it with good grace, humor, and determination. And we got to experience some amazing life changing adventures. I remember camping by ourselves in one shelter, open faced on one side over a near 36o view of the mountains. When clouds formed below us out peak jutted out of the mist liked a cloud island. When it rained and misted heavy the newts and salamanders and such would slide around, move about a bit. If you were sharp eyed you could see lots of different kinds sometimes right at your feet. We saw a lot in crystalline springs, up above the cattle. they like clean water. once we had been rained on off and on for days and was struggling to stay in good humor. this i wrote, as a whistling in the dark, trying to stave off some rain fueled misery, and quite successfully i might add.
If it starts to rain by chance
The salamanders do their dance
They do their dance
The salamander dance
And if it starts to rain some more
Then the frogs began to soar
There’s flying frogs all over the place
There’s flying frogs flying into your face
And if it starts to rain in pails
Then out will come the snails
With their slimy trails
Of snail entrails
And when the rain is finally done
Then out will come the sun
and the hikers will smile
For another mile
But if it starts to rain by chance
Then the salamanders do their dance
They do their dance
The salamander dance
more old poetry (john and salome)
I’ve noticed since moving the blog to wordpress that poetry is all of a sudden a big hit. I haven’t been writing a lot of new poetry, it seems to come in waves. I think there has to be a certain amount of space in my life to stay up late, having already read my fill, and a certain level of reflection. Right now i am living life. sometime in the future i will write about it. Here is one i wrote about John the Babtist probably sometime around 1998. Its not as subversive as most of my religious poetry but all of it just arises out of the subconscious. I actually have little to do with the process. I struggled with the last line but finally just kept to the same pattern. I like the repetition and juxtaposition of the two characters. I’m curious as to what other folks like.
John was a young man, he lived in Galilee
And about two thousand years ago he baptized in the sea
He baptized in the sea
He wore a coat of camel hair, ate locusts and honey
He cried out to the people to repent, but they refused to see
They refused to see
But while John was busy preaching, Salome began to dance
And the King of all Israel fell into her trance
Fell into her trance
Salome was a young girl, the daughter of a king
She does the dance of the seven veils while a thousand eunuchs sing
A thousand eunuchs sing
But while Salome was busy dancing, John began to say
The King of All Israel is living in sin this day
Living in sin this day
John was touched by God, his words were like a fire
But when he turned the people against his king he lit his funeral pyre
Lit his funeral pyre
Cuz while John was busy preaching Salome continued to dance
And when the last veil hit the floor she knew she had her chance
Knew she had her chance
Salome was given a gift and it was up to her
She asked for the head of John the Baptist served on a silver platter
Served on a silver platter
So when Salome was finished dancing, John was finished as well
Now John is preaching up in heaven and Salome is dancing in Hell
Salome is dancing in Hell
consternation, bother and loss of a sense of self
I wrote this paragraph on halloween and have been sitting on it ever since. publish or delete? you see what i picked.
I am in the midst of a long and annoying semi-functional funk and am starting to feel it is endless. It began with trying to write some more on the ‘about’ page. I thought i might begin with talking about what i do, so far as work. not an easy question. I wrote i am in transition from supervising a program providing integrated mental health and substance abuse treatment to individuals with multiple problems in a community based setting to providing community based substance abuse counseling informed by mental health treatment. That subtle difference is a huge pain in my ass and i can’t help but be a little broke up and sad about it.
Going Crazy part 8
I walked to the ticket counter and got in the line. There was an older guy and we struck up a conversation which struck me as eerily significant. He seemed kind and I felt safe for the first time in a good long while. When I got to the counter I told them i would like a ticket to Detroit and gave them the confirmation number. She asked me where I would like to sit and i said i would like to sit next to the previous gentleman. She said he was flying to North Carolina or some such place and asked if I wanted to go there. I considered it for a moment, and said no i had better go to detroit.
I headed for the gate. I remember being tripped out by the signage with looking at the Dutch and English words and thinking of different interpretations. seeing hidden messages. everything had ominous overtones.
I got to a waiting area by the gate. i left my jacket on the row of plastic seats and went in the bathroom and washed my face. I rinsed my mouth out with water but didn’t drink any. I had gotten spooked about whether you could drink tap water in Europe and hadn’t been drinking for a long time. I had no thirst and at the time this had stopped concerning me and was just the way it was.
I came out and put my jacket back on and paced until it was time to go. But first questions. “Did you pack your own bags?”
I struggle with how to answer, “Um, I don’t have any bags, I lost them.”
“Did your items ever leave your sight since they were packed?”
“No?” pause “Oh wait. I wasn’t thinking of it as an item because I’m wearing it but I left my jacket on a bench while I was in the bathroom. I’m sorry I just wasn’t thinking.”
“OK sir, could you please come with me.”
“Oh sure”, I said. I followed him back into a small room and answered more questions to another guy. I told him I had lost my bags with my plane ticket and i didn’t know where. He asked me again and i told him i’d checked them into a locker and lost the key. Another guy looked through my jacket and I pulled out my pockets. They went ove”r my passport carefully took my hemp wallet looked at it and handed it back.
“OK sir, you can go catch your plane.” I stepped out of the room and into the already moving line to board. My heart was beating fast but i also felt in a groove falling out right into the line. As we entered the door of the plane being greeted by the flight attendant I thought I saw an attendant nod her head towards a small door with stairs up.
I turned from the line climbed the stairs and sat down comfortably in the back of first class.
A Holiday Letter
Its been a busy year hear at Leslie Lane. We began the year with a leisurely new years open house with gift exchange with my como friends who also travel for the holidays. Mimosas were served and a good time was had by all.
Columbia had a mild winter and I did quite a bit of winter gardening. I put in tulips and daffodils that i got for a buck at wallyworld and the tulips came out loverly in the spring. I’m hoping the daffodils just got off to a slow start. I had greens under a cold frame and had finished compost by march for the spring beds.
Corri Flaker and I went down to Brazito to the Missouri Wildflower Nursery early and I put in a lot of native wildflowers to launch the spring. The tomatoes struggled and the regular garden got a late start because of our family trip to California in May.
Dad, Myrtle and me rode out in Dad’s big Ford 250 and drove madcap out to Mesquite NV. We rested up for a day and a half and drove on up to the Bay to see John. It was nice to see the Woolsy crew and my biggest disappointment was not making the effort to get out to Concord and see Jeremy and Julie.
We day tripped to Yosemite which is always cool and then tooled on down to Joshua Tree. We camped in BLM land amidst the refuse but the dogs ran free and the target shooters didn’t even come close. Dad climbed a mountain and didn’t get down before dark. John went after him. I set the stage for pretty much a sedentary year by watching from camp.
We did up Joshua Tree and saw the park from end to end. We did a little climbing but mostly a driving tour. Saw a desert tortoise and a rattle snake. The beavertails were in flower. It was a great trip.
We got a room early to watch the season finale for Lost. We had people over to watch every episode. Folks even came over when we were gone. Our 40″ tv is big for my friends. Well halfway through the season finale the tv lost ABC and i still haven’t seen the end. Our Lost circle is growing so it should be a good crowd for the last season.
On the drive back we stopped by the Meteor Crater in AZ as well as Petrified Forest National Park. We took it easy on the way back and had a lot of fun and saw more stuff.
After our vacation the big event was Harry Train finally moved down in July. I am still hoping to land him a job at my shop. Its been nice having another housemate although I have to admit i miss having a guest room. Had to buy a futon for the living room when John came through in September. With Harry living here started playing a lot of D&D again. Also started rewatching Lost. We’re up to season 5 now and I am looking forward to seeing it again. Planning a big party for opening season on Ground Hog’s Day.
In September John visited every weekend. He floated a chunk of the Missouri during the week a couple times and I bought his canoe when he was done. Its a cute little thing, very responsive, with seat backs and cup holders. “The Cadillac of cheap canoes”, John called it.
Most of my other big purchases were house related. Eric carved out a window between the kitchen and dining room. Really opened it up and put in wood counter top in half the kitchen. I want him to do the other half when he has the time. It came out really nice. Also painted the master bedroom and Harry’s room. I also have windows on order, all of them but the garage and living room ones. I also put in some extra insulation. I used the rake-able kind which was pretty cool, didn’t have to get the blower and allowed me to better target where i needed it. Still need about 5 more bags which i need to buy before the end of the year. I also got 3 rain barrels which Dad has assembled and we will be launching in the spring.
The truck is still running. 168K and a rubbing timing belt make me hesitant to put money in it but will probably invest in a couple new tires anyway. Except for the water pump, the truck had a pretty good year.
With Harry we also added Vinnie, a Persian Kitty with a lot of personality. He nipped our mouse problem in the bud. Some months after that we added Oni, the little white beagle dog who hasn’t pissed all over the furniture in weeks. Dad got her from a homeless guy he gave a pair of pants to once. Its a long story.
Almost forgot I finally quit smoking on 2/10/09. Picked up a big chewing gum habit but am smoke free in a way i haven’t been since i picked up my first pack.
Work has gone mixed. I completed my grant and lost my program. Have been doing a lot of grant writing trying to restore it. Got licensed as a substance abuse counselor and got elected to the steering committee of the Missouri Cadre for Co-Occurring Excellence. I am a vanguardest at last. Nice to be doing organizing again I must say. I am pushing the group on consensus. People are into it. People are hungry for meaning.
Also started doing a group on COD and picked back up doing a batterer intervention group for Family Counseling Center. I got nominated for a Mental Health Champion award but wasn’t the most successful crazy person last year. It was fun nonetheless.
Health wise we all do pretty good. Dad is a bit more short winded and is looking into adding Medicare Part D and maybe a breathing med. I’ve had heartburn a lot and thought about getting checked for an ulcer but have mostly just tried to chill out more. Myrtle continues to breathe hard but she’s still into playing and such.
All in all 2009 was a pretty good year. This whole stability thing is still novel enough to be entertaining. I work too hard. My new year’s resolution was to prioritize self care and i have found that to be hard. This year i am going to walk, walk and write it down. I think i am going to hike some AT this summer and want to start training for it. I am optimistic on 2010 and grateful for all the blessings I have received.
Going Crazy part 7
I took some of the change from the smokes and called the tarot reader. There were names of a couple on the answering machine, but not my guy, and i left a message for the guy that i would get back to him. I walked to the main train station and bought a ticket for Schipol. I got to thinking of a conversation i’d overheard about Dennis and his buddy getting stopped on the way out of Amsterdam a few days ago and getting busted for some small amount of drugs they had forgotten about. I began to wonder if they were set up which made me wonder if someone had hidden drugs in my gear. I started to look through my good old army backpack that had seen many miles over many years and realized it was too full of nooks and crannies for me to ever be sure someone hadn’t stashed something in there. I decided it was best to stash it for now and put it in a coin operated storage locker at the train station. I put the ticket in my pocket surreptitiously checked the schedule and slipped on the train just before it moved out hoping to shake any tales.
I arrived back at Schipol and checked the KLM desk. They had no record of my lost ticket and told me a new one would be $3,000. I was stunned and thanked them and walked to another part of the airport. I was unsure of my next move but thought i had better check in with my family as my “friends” were probably back in the states by now.
I purchased a phone card which was most of my remaining money and called my folks. I talked to my mom and my brother had just called having picked up my friends from the airport and myself not being there. He had told her they had said I was acting crazy and had gotten separated. He was pretty angry at them leaving me.
I told her they were trying to pressure me into smuggling drugs and had taken my plane ticket. I told her I had checked on it and it was $3,000 dollars for a new one. I had limited minutes and she told me she would check on a ticket and to call back in an hour. I told her i would.
I went to a smoking area and chain smoked cigarettes until I thought i was being watched and i wandered off. The lighter I realized I had taken from the mind spa when my lighter had died. I wondered if there was a transmitter in it. I decided I should go through my pockets and get rid of anything not essential. I had lots of stuff and i just started throwing it all away. I kept only my passport, some change, and my wallet which i went through carefully throwing away a lot of business cards and phone numbers of folks i had met during my stay. I didn’t know about any of them anymore. The hardest thing to toss was the ticket to get my backpack but there was no going back now.
I called my folks and my dad answered. He told me they had gotten me a ticket and all i needed to do was go to the ticket desk and give them a confirmation number. He asked me if i had a pencil. Damn I had thrown all of that stuff away. I started asking people walking by. I’m not even sure if they spoke english. My Dad stopped me after about 5 times. “Your just going to have to memorize it. Here, Here is how to do it. It starts with MPCH, that’ll be Mickey Please Call Home”. He went on to make up a mnemonic for the 15 digit code of random letters and numbers. He wove in birthdates and catch phrases and had me repeat it back to him twice. I told him I had it and they said they would meet me at the airport in Detroit.
the fall bed is in
John has been visiting and so i took a four day weekend and we have been doing just a lot of hanging out. Since i’m not smoking i haven’t just wanted to sit around so i’ve gotten a fair amount of gardening done. I turned over about 10 square feet in the start of a third bed north of my other two. Dad thinks the light will be better than the other two beds this time of year or i would have pieced in the stuff i wanted to plant in the other two beds.
I double dug them and only shoveled in about an inch of hummus and an inch and a half of compost. Smokey, John’s Aussie Cattle Dog, was pretty into rooting into and eating of the compost so i guess its not quite finished but looked pretty good to me (earthy smell and except for 1/2 a cob and some egg shell fragments can’t tell what it is). I put all the stuff in the bottom foot and would’ve put in another inch or two of compost in the top as well but with the dog taking an interest i didn’t want to give it any more reason to dig in the bed.
I planted my broccoli and cabbage starts. They’re pretty little but its getting late in the year. I also planted 3 garlics from my second best head and 4 one foot rows of lettuce, arugula, and mescalin. this morning i looked out the back bedroom window and the little broccolis were looking very brave standing in their two little rows backed by giant squash blossoms and a marigold explosion. this late summer has been incredible.
I’m glad i’ve gotten everything in. Time and weather permitting i would like to get in some day lilies or another mum or any discounted perennial i come across. I’m also planning on trimming out the fence row since a big branch came down in the front yard and i need to make a trip to the mulch site anyways.
Poetry Archive #2 (large sketch book)
Resistance
Stand up for your convictions
Whatever they are
Whatever obstacles stand in your way
Whatever others may think
Resistance
Feel deeply your inner strength
Let your actions serve your will
As your will strives to serve the greater good
Fear overcome is the beginning of ecstasy
Resistance
The struggle outweighs the outcome
The journey surpasses the destination
Passive acceptance is the bastion of the weak
The meek have inherited nothing
Resistance
Dare to give your life meaning
Share freely what you have experienced
Care about what really matters
Tear down obstacles to justice
Resistance
Multiconstruct 
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